I think my cold is getting worse. However, as so many others in the office have a cold too, I think this is appropriate.

A Jelly Baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie.
After a few beers the Smartie says "Ere, a bunch of us are heading to
that new club, fancy tagging along?"
The Jelly Baby says "No mate, I'm a soft centre, I always end up getting
my head kicked in."
"So", Smartie says. "Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a hard case,
I'll look after you."
Jelly Baby thinks about it for a minute and says "Fair enough, as long
as you'll look after me", and off they go.
After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in.
As soon as he sees them, Smartie hides under the table.
The Lockets take one look at jelly Baby and start kicking him, breaking
cola bottles over his little jelly head, lumping him with little sugary
chairs, and generally having a laugh.

After a while they get bored and walk out.
Jelly Baby pulls his battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and
wipes up his Jelly Baby blood.
He turns to Smartie and says, "I thought you were going to look after
me."

Aye.." says the Smartie..

"...but those Lockets... they're MENTHOL!!"