Friday, November 07, 2008


I feel it is my duty to pass on some advice today. I don't often do this - I usually just think people should know what to do - but I'm feeling generous today. For a start, that awful band weren't playing this week in my favourite drinking establishment, so I'm in a good mood.

Now that I am a seasoned European traveler, I learned a few things along the way that I feel I should impart on you, the dear beloved reader, as to how European travel should be done.

First of all, the airport transfer. Traditionally, this is the mad dash in a very dodgy (but cheap!) taxi to some shed in middle of nowhere, pretending to be the airport for one of our major cities, and as such costs an arm and a leg. I now have a solution. It's called a Tractor transfer. Now, I don't find myself sitting behind a long queue of traffic on the way to the airport. I'm the cause of it, and that is one of the most satisfying things - I feel like the Pied Piper. Secondly, you can park it anywhere at the airport, as nobody will give you a ticket for fear of sparking mass riots by the farmers in every major city, so it's a win win!

Now, business class. I have found that due to my many airport trips, I now get invited to fly business class. However, as this is Ryanair, it seems to mean that I only get preferential seating - I've not had to sit on the knee of anyone in weeks!

Everyone in France has moved on from man bags. Now, we all have Murses, or a man purse. It's a great idea. All I keep in mine is my passport and flight or train tickets, some spare cash (you never know what last minute goodies you'll find in the airport! I'm a sucker for Toblerone) and this monstrosity of a thing called a "mobile phone". Hateful thing. However I think I'm blazing a trail with my Murse in the Midlands, as nobody else seems to have caught onto it yet. At least I can be a bit stylish while I go about my business! I mean, even Chewbacca had a man bag, he's a real man (well, wookie, but let that one slide ok?) so why shouldn't I carry one too?


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